Tonight's audience shout out is to a drunk guy from British Columbia. He calls it a reenactment. He takes a few moments to adjust his clothing, touch up his hair and prepare himself mentally to portray himself.
He turns to face his audience, and in his best dumb guy voice delivers Housewives looking casual sex Saint Charles Idaho line, "Uhhh He claims he normally doesn't do this, but he did so one year ago today. Here we go: I'm going to begin grooming my son to be my successor. I would love to have a gallery showing of my clown paintings. I am going to speak up more at my book club.
I'm gonna get myself a new yoga mat. Bring home a competitive eating trophy. At my next Scientology seminar, I'm Saaint introduce myself to Tom Cruise. Aretha Franklin is getting married to her longtime friend, William "Willie" Wilkerson. My God, no!
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No, Dave! Oh, come on. Excuse me, Alan. What is the problem? Maybe Housewuves misheard you. What'd you say? Come in real close and tight. Tight, dammit! You're makin' a mistake.Women Horny Bridgeton New Jersey
I want you to look me in the eye, and if you tell me you love him more than me, I will walk away. Three days, and he's already ruined the new year. Alright, that's plenty. Thank you.
Dave likes it when a Republican front-runner is getting his way, and Mitt Romney throws some money to run a bunch of negative commercials. Then the guy starts whining. Newt Casjal says every commercial — no matter what for — in Iowa has something negative to say about him.
Also, Newt Gingrich is an ass. Forty dishes. Housewives looking casual sex Saint Charles Idaho delicious. Dave's on the Twitter machine again, and he's decided to lie about who's on the show. He claims Norv Turner is on. Dave hasfollowers on Twitter now.
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Dave claims Buddy Hackett is on tonight, too. Dave's taking Sluts in Fredericton mo piracy on Twitter.
Instead of retweeting, he's cutting and pasting. He decides to rip off a Jimmy Fallon tweet. Dave and Will tag team a tweet to Fallon. We have a different twist on the audience shout out tonight.
Dave announces that he has appointed an audience leader. Dave begins to point out something when the screen crashes to the floor and explodes. Housewivfs, well. New Jersey's Governor Chris Christie isn't running for president after all.
Here's another look at his press conference. What he has to say isn't quite the point, as we marvel at the governor's sandwich construction skills. It's a multi-decker production, with a heaping helping of mustard on top, Housewives looking casual sex Saint Charles Idaho made while the governor speaks. Mitt Romney: Dave got on the eharmony.
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Caual to see you! How're ya doin'? What do you have for us tonight, Joe? If Ivaho Santorum is able to build on his momentum and finish strong in the Granite State, it could Housewives looking casual sex Saint Charles Idaho the Romney campaign's claim of inevitability. I'm gonna stop you right there. You know that you're dressed like Elvis?
And, uh, was that in the script? Dave says he wasn't going Wives seeking sex tonight Fallis name Hitler in the earlier desk chat.
He meant to say Daniel Boone. Paul opines that Hitler is stronger.
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Dave just got confused. Dave got on ancestry. For example, his mother was Marilyn Monroe, and his father was Harvey Lembeck.
Dave hasfollowers today. Brian Williams beats up a punk on the sidewalk after his interview. Dude looked at Brian funny, I guess, so he needed a knee to the trousers. We see a highly mountainous area, and hear in a Middle-Eastern accent: Holy crap!Lonely Ladies Looking Sex Tonight Nampa
Nice bedside manner, by the way. The Digital Storm Troopers stand by, Bellevue MI housewives personals offstage, for the remainder of the telecast. You know Ron Paul? Oh, my God. Ron Paul Nobody's ever seen his Housewives looking casual sex Saint Charles Idaho.
You ever think about it It's because he keeps her in the factory, turnin' out those fish sticks. Face the Nation graphic Bob: So my resolution is to win primaries next year.
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And become the nominee. Dave complains about having to do his own tweeting. He doesn't know how it works, and can't get anyone to tweet him Housewives looking casual sex Saint Charles Idaho.
He tweets, "Don't play with your button. His great great great grandmother lived Lady want nsa Voorheesville door to Argentinian soccer superstar Diego Maradona!
There's a woman on the staff who is a homosexual lesbian. OK, it's executive producer Barbara Gaines. Gaines needed to hail a cab. When it pulled over, she kissed her wife, Ari, goodbye.
When she got in, the cab driver asked, "Are you French? She's a great guest.
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Dave tweets that he's had surgery on his face. Tonight's followers count: Not to be outdone by last night's sidewalk indiscretion perpetrated by Brian Williams, as Tina Fey exits onto 53rd Street, she sees a vehicle by the curb, searches a dumpster and extracts a bat, then smashes the windshield of the unsuspecting vehicle. Dave says welcome to the Late Show clothing drive. It's a shout out to an audience guy Housewives looking casual sex Saint Charles Idaho forced a shirt on him.
It's Housewives looking casual sex Saint Charles Idaho female anchors gobbling grapes as fast as they can. Dave does his execution gag, with full sparky sound effects and blinking Sub seeking adult online dating top. Boobytrapped debate podiums. A mallet rises from the lectern on a scissor looking, then begins conking Governor Romney on the side of his noggin.